Idealist vs Realist

my colleagues and i were talking about some personal stuff several weeks ago. before i knew it, our topic got to how being a realist and an idealist both have their pros and cons.

taken from Dictionary.com

Realist - noun

1. a person who tends to view or represent things as they really are.
2. an artist or a writer whose work is characterized by realism.

Idealist - noun

1. a person who cherishes or pursues high or noble principles, purposes, goals, etc.
2. a visionary or impractical person.
3. a person who represents things as they might or should be rather than as they are.

most of my friends say that i'm an idealist. i don't see anything wrong with being one but i just want to highlight that, although i'd like to see things in the best possible way, i am very much intuned that nothing is perfect and that shit happens (pardon my french). i just try my best to stay positive, more so during trying times, because i believe that life is too short to be burdened by things that are inevitable. no one escape the perils of life. that is a given, what is not is our take on things. if you dwell on something negative, it's just understandable that you get sad or even get depressed. this clip from Jim Paredes' blog exlplains it well:

Many times, we define life by the outer conditions and situations which we have no control over, and we end up feeling helpless and victimized. We forget that while the objective condition is a given, our take on it is not. It is something left for us to create. We can give it any value we want — positive, negative, exciting, scary, challenging, inspiring — it’s up to us! Our biggest problem might be our lack of awareness. We are simply not aware of the autonomy we possess to define what we wish to experience.

I was talking to my son about taking on a certain job and I could feel his hesitation. He finally expressed his fear that he may get bored or may not get over his negative feelings about certain people he has to deal with. Feeling his fears, I pointed out to him that boredom and negative feelings are not conditions dictated to him by the world. These are purely internal matters over which he has 100-percent control. He could allow himself to succumb to these transient negative moods or he could decide to summon a different, more positive experience.

Every time I feel “cornered” by so-called negative situations, or when I feel the world ganging up on me, I try to remind myself that no one can give me a bad time without my permission. They can only do so if I allow them to, and I will only say “yes” to them if I am not conscious that I have a choice about how to feel. This knowledge empowers me to be creative and find new ways to experience the world.

sabi nga nila: "mind over matter." if you see past the drama, the hurt, the fright and the overflowing emotions, you'll realize that the world is not ganging up on you and that the forces of nature is not against you. no one is that important, so get over yourself and move on. it's always nice to burst your own bubble once in a while. humbling isn't it?

Jessica Zafra's Cake

i like reading Jessica Zafra's blog. there's always something to learn. her no-nonsense approach on things is very informative and often times funny. like this post.

you know the saying: "you can't have your cake and eat it too"? it generally means, you can't have the best of both worlds, you can't have everything, you must sacrifice something over the other, etc. well, it's not supposed to be that way pala. it's supposed to go: "you can't eat your cake and have it, too." parang mali diba? but if you digest it literally, it only make sense that it is in that order. you can have a cake and eat it but you cannot eat a cake and still have it (physically). that's what the one who quoted it was implying. also, do not overlook the comma before the word too.

and i thought relationships were complicated!! hahaha

Welcome To The Dark Side

i just read that Jessica Zafra already saw "The Dark Knight" on it's premiere at IMAX in Mall of Asia (she raved about it). i'm sooo looking forward to watching it when it opens here in china. i don't care if i have to spend for an overnight stay in shanghai and even if movie tickets here are waaayy more expensive than in manila. i MUST see The Dark Knight.

* these are one of the downsides of not being in manila where we have an easy access (and a cheaper one at that) to things and events such as movie premieres. hay buhay!

ugh! why so serious? eh ang mahal ng sine dito! crappy.

On Humor, Music, Sex, Meditation and Beauty

i like reading Jim Paredes' blog as it always stir something in me. he has this new post entitled: Some of the best things are still free. he listed 5 things that we still enjoy amidst the sky-rocketing of prices and the slumping of economies. what he wrote is very true. in the very basic essence, we can still enjoy humor, music, sex, meditation and beauty without busting our wallets or bank accounts. for those who like to argue, yes, we can put price tags on the given. but these things are more appreciated and enjoyed when free or done spontaneously.

i find humor the most important (actually flush sila ng sex! hahaha). i easily get along with people who have a sense or appreciates humor. thus, whether in friendship or a prospective relationship, this is a trait that's on top of my list. come on, life is tough. it is meant to be that way. the last thing you need is to dramatize everything. things won't always go the way we expect it but hey, we don't have to cry our eyes out, alter our entire lives or stop living altogether. we pick up the pieces and move on. stronger and more determined to succeed.

music. this needs no elaborate explanation. life without music is tantamount to an earth without water.

everybody's guilty pleasure, sex. my personal take on this is as long as it is consensual or done responsibly and without a negative ulterior motive or is brought upon by something special, sex is meant to be enjoyed. (insert lion's roar. hahaha)

meditation is very subjective. i, for instance, don't need to be inside a church or hear a mass to cultivate my faith. this maybe a simple act of being alone and one with yourself. if it helps to pray or call to a god, a spirit or an icon then so be it. as long as you feel a renewed sense of hope and positivity, then you're good to go.

beauty like meditaion is very subjective. we need not refer to the media or dra. vicky belo to define what is beautiful and what is not. as stereotypical as it sounds, beauty is innate. we just need to realize that we have it and get past the physical aspects in seeing it in other people.

Ay, phone!

finally, something free from apple. read here. i'm just not sure if it is accessible to those who are using the unlocked units as the applications will be through itunes.

if you are lusting for the new iphone like me, we still have to wait for about a month as the demand for the new 3g version of apple's iphone has sky-rocketed. i am going for the unlocked version as it will be very hard for me to subscribe to a partner carrier here in china. hell, it's not even clear who will release it here (china unicom or china mobile?). i'm hoping to get one soon although i still don't know wether to have someone get it manila for me or in hongkong. hay, complicated! parang relationships. hahaha.

With You

after a couple of days trying to learn Wang Lee Hom's Kiss Goodbye hahaha, i'm now stuck to listening to Boyce Avenue's version of With You. i even like it better than Chris Brown's.
the entire album is actually nice.

Self-Help Tips

bernadette, my close friend in manila is setting up her own call center with her uncle. they're already starting to do business and is expecting to be fully operational in a couple of days. for me, that's a big accomplishment and to think she's only in her late 20s. anyways, i called her last weekend and she asked me if i can give a talk to her agents when i go back to manila. i instantly said yes even if i had no idea what i'm going to say! hahaha. the other night, i was unable to sleep and i ended up thinking of what to say when i give the said talk. i don't want to go all profound and preachy as that would be boring and i, myself, still has a lot of learning to do too before i can go and teach stuff about my craft. i then decided that i'll probably just give my two cents' worth on how to better one's self by starting with the basics. here's a gist of my train of thought that night:

1. start with doing good in whatever you do. do well in your job as most of us cannot afford to do what we want to without earning a living. if the financial aspect in our lives is taken cared of, we'll have more room to delve into other things we want to do. also, take pride in whatever you do. no job is too menial if you do it well and with enough gusto.

2. enrich yourself, invest in your own development. may it be learning a new language, taking up a new hobby or going to the gym, continuously bettering yourself rakes in confidence and knowledge in the long run.

3. reward yourself. now, for all the hard work that you put into stabilizing your finances and empowering your self, it is just right to give yourself a treat. buy your self something that you've always wanted, indulge in the food that you've been craving for, get a new haircut or a relaxing massage.

4. give back. now that you are in a better position in your life, take time to reach out and help other people. there is no better way to get a natural high than to help out. having people genuinely say "thank you" to you is priceless. pay it forward and do your contribution in making this world a little better for all of us.

hopefully i won't forget this when i'm about to give the talk na. hahaha

On Sweating Like A Pig

it's now summer in china. and summer it really is. it can get HOT. good thing hindi mainitin ulo ko. hahaha. this weather actually works for me when i go to the gym, it makes it easier for me to sweat. sweating it out by excercising is a nice feeling, i feel awake, alert, alive, enthusiastic! hahaha.

the thing that i dislike about summer though is how it can make you feel sticky even after showering, i don't like that feeling. and worse is that you smell all sweaty even after a short time of being under the sun's heat. good thing i had my colleague kymn get me the new Hugo Boss Pure. i love the freshness of this scent. it has the same refreshing effect as that of Davidoff's Cool Water (which is so highschool but nonetheless a nice cologne) only in a totally new scent. this is now my official summer cologne. vain eh?

Tongue-twister

i just attended the first session of our mandarin classes. initially i thought that it would be a little easier since i've been hearing people speak mandarin for a little over a year now. but hell no! hahaha. our teacher started with the pronunciation of the basic chinese syllables and some basic greetings. oh boy, it is hard! until now i'm practicing how to properly enunciate j, q, x, z, c and s. i won't be surprised if i wake up tomorrow with a s and z defect. kamote! hahaha

Conversations #1

i dunno if i'm hallucinating because of the heat or i'm just dead-bored. hahaha. been having this conversation in my head the whole morning