Idealist vs Realist

my colleagues and i were talking about some personal stuff several weeks ago. before i knew it, our topic got to how being a realist and an idealist both have their pros and cons.

taken from Dictionary.com

Realist - noun

1. a person who tends to view or represent things as they really are.
2. an artist or a writer whose work is characterized by realism.

Idealist - noun

1. a person who cherishes or pursues high or noble principles, purposes, goals, etc.
2. a visionary or impractical person.
3. a person who represents things as they might or should be rather than as they are.

most of my friends say that i'm an idealist. i don't see anything wrong with being one but i just want to highlight that, although i'd like to see things in the best possible way, i am very much intuned that nothing is perfect and that shit happens (pardon my french). i just try my best to stay positive, more so during trying times, because i believe that life is too short to be burdened by things that are inevitable. no one escape the perils of life. that is a given, what is not is our take on things. if you dwell on something negative, it's just understandable that you get sad or even get depressed. this clip from Jim Paredes' blog exlplains it well:

Many times, we define life by the outer conditions and situations which we have no control over, and we end up feeling helpless and victimized. We forget that while the objective condition is a given, our take on it is not. It is something left for us to create. We can give it any value we want — positive, negative, exciting, scary, challenging, inspiring — it’s up to us! Our biggest problem might be our lack of awareness. We are simply not aware of the autonomy we possess to define what we wish to experience.

I was talking to my son about taking on a certain job and I could feel his hesitation. He finally expressed his fear that he may get bored or may not get over his negative feelings about certain people he has to deal with. Feeling his fears, I pointed out to him that boredom and negative feelings are not conditions dictated to him by the world. These are purely internal matters over which he has 100-percent control. He could allow himself to succumb to these transient negative moods or he could decide to summon a different, more positive experience.

Every time I feel “cornered” by so-called negative situations, or when I feel the world ganging up on me, I try to remind myself that no one can give me a bad time without my permission. They can only do so if I allow them to, and I will only say “yes” to them if I am not conscious that I have a choice about how to feel. This knowledge empowers me to be creative and find new ways to experience the world.

sabi nga nila: "mind over matter." if you see past the drama, the hurt, the fright and the overflowing emotions, you'll realize that the world is not ganging up on you and that the forces of nature is not against you. no one is that important, so get over yourself and move on. it's always nice to burst your own bubble once in a while. humbling isn't it?